Filler by Proxy XLIII: How long until someone makes an opera out of this?

There's a big crossover audience in the fanbases for opera and for giant, train-wreck hissy fits, so there's something for everyone to enjoy in the ongoing scandal at La Scala after tenor Roberto Alagna walked out of a performance of Aida on Sunday, after just ten minutes on stage. As over-reactions to mild booing go, they don't get much bigger or better than this.

Opera Chic has the most frequently updated chronicle, as the surprises keep coming thick and fast, as well as the juciest details. Scroll back to 10 December to savour the unfolding mayhem in its chronological glory. YOU WILL SEE:

• Alagna sing damn near a semitone sharp during his first aria, then shake his fist at the audience and storm offstage when the fans are less than appreciative!
• An understudy replace Alagna onstage for the remainder of the opera, still wearing his street clothes!
• Alagna swear he will never, ever come back to La Scala!
• Alagna backpedal furiously in a series of increasingly demented interviews (seriously, how was one of the highest-paid tenors in the world to know that Italian audiences could be passionate and voluble?), once he notices everybody lining up to sue him!
• The undertsudy in his shirt and jeans admit he wasn't the official stand-in (who was already in costume) for Alagna's part: he just took advantage of the confusion backstage and ran on singing before anyone could stop him!
• Alagna announce his plan to countersue La Scala for "promoting a hostile work environment"!
• La Scala lock Alagna out of the theatre when he tries to come back, then tell him they won't be paying his hotel bill!
• Increasingly convoluted rival conspiracy theories!
• Extreme closeups of Alagna's gold platform sandals!
• Director Franco Zeffirelli offer up one of the most poised and comprehensive smackdowns in recorded history!
• Ballerino Roberto Bolle tell anyone who will listen all about his perfect arse!
• More, more, more! The craziness just doesn't stop!

Video of the walk-off and switcheroo is, of course, on YouTube. It's worth watching just to see mezzo soprano Ildiko Komlosi pull a double-take worthy of Margaret Dumont as she's suddenly confronted by a pharaoh in shirt and jeans.