Yes, my parents are very disappointed in me. Thanks for asking.

This is what happens when you're stuck on a tube train with a discarded copy of the freebie morning newspaper. You end up reading articles like "No one has emptied our bins for 15 years", with quotes such as:

A couple have created a towering heap of 15 years' rubbish next to their picturesque cottage - because the dustman will not come to collect it.

Council bosses refused to send lorries up the rough track to the Cale's [sic] moorland home in the Yorkshire dales.

Mrs Cale, 65, who lives with her husband John [said]... "I am entitled to a back door service."

"I've been complaining to the council that I haven't had a man up my back passage for years. They keep telling me it's a tight squeeze down there but with a bit of care and patience they'd be amazed what will fit in. When I was younger it was very different - I'd just stick out my can when the night man came around and he'd give it a proper seeing to. I would be a happy woman if I were getting it once a week, or even once a fortnight. But after 15 years without any action from the council I'm worried that if they do find someone who can get it up, he'll be turned off by the smell."